Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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