yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize