You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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