You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
