I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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