I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just forgot I was standing up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
