this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
