those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
