Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
