the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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