Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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