I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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