she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
