i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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