Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
