my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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