Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
