dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
