Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
