i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
how drunk are you?
Several
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
