Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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