I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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