Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
