i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
