he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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