All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
