Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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