Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's just like the Real World with babies
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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