i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
