remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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