Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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