we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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