I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You dont lie about slip and slides
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
