Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
