Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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