My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She needs sedatives and a leash
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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