Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
