shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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