I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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