Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
