i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are all done wearing pants today
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
