i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
