I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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