Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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