No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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