Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
