Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize