I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
