So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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