carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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