question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize