I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
