the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
