I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
