you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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