just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
