New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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