I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
