I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
