You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
