Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
