i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
