Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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