the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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