Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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