I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
