Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
