there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
