Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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