It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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