Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
