mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
