so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
