Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
