Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
