This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
