I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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