I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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