Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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