On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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