is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
