It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
